Ex-Boyfriend

Ay, what's going on man? It's your boy Lil Dicky A.K.A Mr. Left-ward sloping penis I got a story for y'all man Peep this Yessir

Now I been datin' this girl named Katie, she hot as hell And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it don't smell And I don't fall for chickens But this one a little different Body sickenin' Plus she really good at making breaded chicken Got me thinkin' she the one man Even fully clothed, shawty really fun man Get a lotta hoes, but none of those come close I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposed Oh yeah, there's one more thing And I know this shit gonna sound insane But I still haven't hit it I admit it, I wish I was kiddin' Never been up inside before Because she's only fucked one guy before And though I really wanna boink this whore She ma sweetie 3.14 So I'm stayin' patient, and masturbatin' And now ma heart is sorta racin' Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating Hell yeah, I'm down, I'm bout to go all out I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake But on the way to crib, we pass this kid And he seem to know who Katie is So I say "who this" and she say Dicky, this is my ex-boyfriend Jim"

And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type But as I'm lookin' at this dude I can't believe my eyes 'Cause he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian god And now I'm lookin' at ma chick, 'cause his dick's been inside her raw "Fuck that"

Aww damn Man this is crazy I can't believe this guy used to fuck ma lady I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti Katie's huggin' and squeezin' his shoulder blades And I'm buggin' and queasy, this ain't okay And then they say, "let's get drinks" so I say okay Even though I was about to get laid Man this ma'fucka look like Ashton Combined wit' a lil Hugh Jackman In other words, he's so damn attractive So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him Now I'm in the back wit' him, sippin' on some 'gnac wit' him And he payin' for it all, he investment bankin' I'm acting, like I ain't distracted But I'm reenacting him and Katie bangin' And now I'm feelin' pissed, so I go and take a piss Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is And I had to see, and I was mad discreet And I got on my tippy toes and I took a little peek Oh my god Becky, look at that cock

And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type But as I'm lookin at his dick, I can't believe me eyes Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life And now I'm starin' at this dude's soft dick with a lotta hate Because the shit is plus eight like Jon and Kate And I don't know if I can date my girl after tonight

Oh damn

I don't know what to do Dude's dick is really huge I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth I know she's missin' that My penis isn't that I'm lookin closer I think that his dick has abs Six pack on a dick Now what the fuck is that It's so long and thick It's like a punching bag I'm sayin it's so shaven, head is amazing Got ma dick looking like a raisin Skin tone insane, man he's hung like Saddam Hussein, it's crazy What the fuck should I do? He gotta Ruth's Chris dick, and mine's a drive thru I think it's time to Tell Katie my goodbyes 'Cause I simply can't survive After seeing what was in between his thighs So I tell her

That this dude's gotta dick that I don't comprehend I had to move my neck to see it end to end I mean the physics of his dick just don't make any sense And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end Because the sex with him must have been the best And I would say let's just be friends But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye Then she told me "Dicky I don't really know what to say Because I dated this dude in second grade So I don't know about his dick, now let's go home and get you laid"

And then I took her to my crib, and you know that we belly slapped And I gave her an O like I was sellin' crack, and when I came I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh Awh damn